Dear Fagony Aunt,
I’m mostly openly gay and was scrolling through Grindr one day, and I came across a torso that looked kinda familiar… But I was intrigued that the background looked exactly like my parents house.
They have one of those ensuites that are through the walk-in closet. I thought that looks sort of like my parents’ house
I clicked through the profile to see if it could be my father as I’ve never seen any signs of a rift between them. I also have a headless profile pic, so decided to message to see if it was really him.
I wasn’t flirting with him, I just engaged in normal conversation, told him I liked his picture and asked where he is from. Eventually, I asked for a face pic and shocked to discover that it was actually him!
I’m super conflicted on whether to confront him over it. I’m very open and forward-thinking, I don’t care if he’s gay, I just don’t want him to lie to my mother.
He was super against it when I was coming out – he hated me – he was super angry and didn’t want anything to do with me in his life. So I’m interested to hear his side of the story and why he kept it secret for so long.
I’ve asked some friends, and while one said I should talk to both of them, another said I should speak to my dad first. What should I do?
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That really is a predickament. However, as someone who has both a walk-in wardrobe and an ensuite, I think it’s fair to say it’s about time you had some shit come your way. And I don’t mean finding your dad’s douche. I also think that it’s only fair we now we refer to it as your dad’s mince-in wardrobe. And ironic that you recognised the closet your dad has been hiding in before he, himself.
Most people’s investigative instincts would have flared seeing their own privileged lives in the background of their dad’s thirst trap, so I think it’s natural you wanted to find out for sure. Not sure if telling your dad he has a hot body is totally unflirtatious but you didn’t ask for a dick pic so I guess that’s something.
No child wants to see one of their parents lie to the other, but I think it’s important to remember where your loyalties lie… and that’s not with the dad that – albeit it temporarily – disowned you. I can tell you right now, his “side of the story” will be some toxic masculine babble-bullshit; why would you listen to that when Beyoncé just dropped a new album?
I’d like to say that your friend who told you to speak to both parents clearly lives for the drama and will probably cause some iconic scenes on reality TV in the next few years, but I must admit, that I wholeheartedly agree.
After all, drama is what we gays are good at, so your faggy little dad will subconsciously probably enjoy it too. My advise is to wait for a family dinner, and then when mum asks how you spent your day, slam your dad’s grindr profile down on the table and say – in the same tone as Kat Slater – “If you want a poof’s itenerary, why don’t you ask ‘im?”
Your dad isn’t just guilty of hiding his true sexuality from mum, he’s also cheating on her (even if that’s emotionally), and made you feel like shit for owning who you are – something he “a man” could never do. So, whil a hatrick may be a good thing in football, it’s not in a gay’s burn book.
Set the house and his life on fire. Mayhem is the only logical route to peace.
Good luck! xoxo
This problem has been taken and edited from a segment on The Kyle and Jackie O Show
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