China are getting serious about coronavirus, and it’s now being reported that you can get tested for it via your anus.
Queue hungry bottoms who haven’t had sex during lockdown racing to get tested.
Chivese news outlets are saying that the method is being considered for those who are high-risk. It’s said to be more accurate as the virus can still apparently be found in the lower digestive tract days after negative nasal and throat tests.
“If we add anal swab testing, it can raise our rate of identifying infected patients,” Li Tongzeng of Beijing You’an Hospital recently told broadcaster CCTV. “But of course considering that collecting anal swabs is not as convenient as throat swabs, at the moment only key groups such as those in quarantine receive both.”
Well, yes, it’s certainly less convenient… imagine the test centres with dozens of OAPs with their trousers round their ankles being told to cough. Actually, don’t cough. Just bare it.
It’s already been rolled out in a few places, but nasal and throat swabs remain. By Chinese residents are already unenthused, with 80% of Weibo (a social media platform) users saying they “could not accept” the new test. Who new there were so many tops in the East?