Press secretary Matt Hancock has put a ban on hook-ups and sex between anyone who is not in a committed relationship.
The committed relationship he’s referring to clearly does not include the one with your mental health which rapidly deteriorates when you’re drier than the Sahara.
Apparently, Coronavirus will not attack work places, just people with sexual desires… Picky killer, isn’t she?
The news comes after a 10pm curfew was dolled out to pubs and bars in following suit of France and Spain. FUN!
Sky News quizzed Hancock on the ban, and he stated – while giggling and blushing – that people should be in an “established relationship” before having sex.
Although failed to explain exactly what that meant, while repeatedly trying to brush the issue under the carpet.
So, like, we’ve established that we’re ‘f**k buddies?’
Does Hancock realise that in the 21st century there are more people having casual sex than there are in relationships?
Hancock went on say there needs to be “boundaries”. Adding:
“It just means that people need to be careful, they need to be sensible.
“If you’re in a relationship that is well established, what it means is people realising that coming into close contact with people from other households, then that is how the virus spreads.”
Perhaps, just perhaps, people could instead be smart: practice social distancing, wear a mask when necessary and have adult conversations about what practices their sexual partners have been having, while limiting those partners a select few.