Sexual preferences are actually often constructed on more than just the sex act itself. For example; those more attracted to tops aren’t just so because of the bottom sensation.
Regardless of whether we classify ourselves as a top, bottom, vers or a saucy side, we’re always going to be attracted to – or in some cases – put off, by another’s energy.
“So what about Top-Bottoms and Bottom-tops”, we ask in this week’s episode of Cocktails & Confessions. “Or Toppoms and Bottops”.
This, host Gilét clarifies, is when you have man who self-identifies as a top, but his emotional energy says bottom – and vice versa.
“And we’re not just talking about having a high-pitched voice or listening to Ariana Grande”.
Right… So what are we talking about?
In this case, Gilét refers to a date he had recently where the top would text feature-length messages and talk of “needing cuddles”, and how this was reflective of the stereotype that bottoms are needy.
“Ultimately it’s not great to have a needy top, or a needy bottom,” Gilét suggests.
He went on to explain how this coupled with his date talking in a baby-voice and wearing teensie-shorts gave off an opposing energy.
Co-host Mark Ashley-Dupé adds: “Maybe we just have to accept that you cannot judge a book by its cover, and when it comes down to the bedroom-“
“-Everyone just be vers!” Gilét interjects.
“Well I know a girl who goes out with roadmen, and these guys are ghetto on streets and Nancy in the sheets,” before detailing how his straight female pal pegs her boyfriends.
“Ultimately what you want is a nice balanced person,” Dupé concludes.
Really, the beauty in being fluid humans is that our energies often don’t just vibrate to one type of tune or stereotype: bottoms can be more reserved and tops can enjoy Drag Race.