Mitch Johnson plays for the Southport Sharks, but we’d say he’s a proper catch.

Playing for the Australian Football League, Johnson is a “noted goalkicker”, but we reckon he’s a talented hole-licker too.

We could sit here and talk you through all the sporting stats, but in the words of Miss Halsey in Bad Teacher, “that’s just not how I do things”. Besides, like anyone understands Australian football anyway.