In a guide to safer sex during the COVID-19 pandemic from the health department of New York City, you may not have expected to find recommended advice that includes noshing strangers off at public cruising grounds.

Well, here it is… although, not in quite as many words.

The government guide suggests, “Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.” Clearly the government know what it’s like to need a dick in your mouth regardless of anything else.

It does discourage orgies or group sex, but adds that if you “decided to find a crowd”, to “pick larger, more open, and well-ventilated spaces.”

In fact, we actually told you guys this long before New York became an epicenter of the virus…

Coinciding with the advice from Harvard students recently, kissing and rimming are the things to refrain from, and always wearing a mask is the main precaution to take when having sex with someone outside of your household. (Baring in mind, it is still actively encouraged for people to stop hooking up if they can).

The safest practice is masturbation, keeping at a distance. You can hear about one experience of a socially-distanced hand-job on the latest episode of Cocktails & Confessions too:

They even added advice for OnlyFans performers and other online sex workers, suggesting they move to Zoom. I mean, we know they’re not all Einstein’s, but we’re pretty sure they could’ve figured that one out.