Many of us – when we’ve been ghosted – like to tell ourselves that something bad must’ve happened to him, because, like, why would he not call? But for one guy that was legitimately the case.

Lamar Dawson writes that although fuck buddies tend not to have extensive chats between one another, his was different. “He’d apologize for not responding within a couple of hours and initiate plans for when we could schedule our next meeting.” So it wasn’t until nine days without a reply that Dawson decided to message him again.

“What’s up sexy?” he asked, the text bubble now green and not blue. Dawson assumed he’d been visiting family over the holidays, but when that text wasn’t answered either, he followed up again a few days later.

“You alive?” he ironically asked.

Days after with still no response, Dawson was on Grindr (presumably looking for a new fuck buddy) when he tapped onto another profile.

“His profile rattled off the usual list of demands and requests should you decide to communicate with him, but in closing was a message of caution, to be careful crossing the street and rest in peace to a man, a man with the same name as my fuck buddy.”

After messaging the profile, that user confirmed that the guy who had died was indeed his fuck buddy. As the shock hit Dawson, he recounts how he didn’t really know his fuck buddy that well – not even his last name – but wondered if he meant anything to the guy that had been so suddenly taken.

“We were naked. More than that, we were vulnerable. We shared human, intimate, passionate, connected moments together. We shared energy. We shared breaths. We shared affirming touches. And in those moments, we brought each other joy. We made each other feel good, and seen, and wanted, and desired, and sexy. And that means something.”