If you thought the gays were out of control during Halloween season, you’d be mother-fuckin’ right. Our jokes and memes about a love of basic spiced pumpkin lattes have been evolved into a reallife spiced-pumpkin-bussy aid. Yup, pumpkin poppers are here.
So while inhaling that frappe isn’t gonna do jack (latern) shit to your sphincter, taking a deep whiff of Double Scorpio’s new scented relaxant will.
“Pumpkin Spice Latte is our newest scent just in time for sweater weather,” reads the product description. “Whether youʼre a festive top or an autumnal bottom, Pumpkin Spice Latte will warm your heart with a scent thatʼs anything but basic.”
Although what we think they’re forgetting is that anybody can now sniff poppers in Starbucks without as much as a blink. Well, until they’re insides prolapse while they’re waiting for their espresso.
The company frequently fuck with the poppers recipe though, claiming: “We also are approaching the product from a different angle. We have different scents, some that are seasonal or are limited edition. We have Double Scorpio Emerald that is blended with the scent of eucalyptus and mint to take you right to the bathhouse.”
Girl, which bathhouse you in? The ones in London have the effervescent aroma of shame and poop.