Don’t you just find it, like, totally mortifying when you spring a boner in the dry cleaners? No, that’s never happened to us either, but we expect that singer Danny Polaris is definitely having a *hard* time running errands after being left semi-permanently excited from an erection enhancer.
Polaris – who is based in Berlin – explains to Pink News: “I was partying at a club, and I took a Viagra before I went.
“I met a nurse, who I went home with, who ended up injecting an erection enhancer into my cock. I thought, why not, what could possibly go wrong?”
A stranger off their nut waving a needle near your dick actually leaves us questioning: what could possibly go right?
Polaris woke up the following day still hard as a rock, but decided that it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be solved at Berlin Pride, so popped down “with my flatmate’s wine cooler wrapped around my penis and shoved down my shorts.”
Unfortunately, a DIY medical solution was probably not the best decision (either time), as Polaris was rushed to the hospital the following day – this time with a crippling stiffy. After being diagnosed with priapism, (a long-lasting boner that can cause permanent damage to your little fella), Polaris underwent a series of agonising procedures, including having needles jabbed into his dick, and pushing a plastic rod down his urethra.
Well, I think we can agree that’s the stuff of nightmares.
Still in hospital – and with a semi – after 10 days, Danny, who says he doesn’t know if he’ll ever have sex again, says: “Some days I wake up and I just cry about how stupid I was, about what I’ve lost, about what’s going to happen to me”.
But his friends have set-up a GoFundMe (what are friends for?) to help cover rehab and recovery costs. Solutions can range from minor operations to penile prothesis’ which is basically where they put a metal rod inside your shaft to drive erections after natural ones aren’t possible.
Danny, who is also a sex columnist and in an open-relationship, wonders how his ailment will affect his job and relationship.
“My advice to anyone with a penis is to be careful when you take Viagra and don’t let anyone come near your cock with an injection because it’s not worth it.”
Or we could just not let anyone near our cocks with needles anyway?