Does size matter? Apparently it does to the Irish, but not in the way you might think.

ManyVids – an online adult and e-commerce platform (think PornHub meets OnlyFans) – have shared their search statistics ahead of St. Patrick’s day about what gets these randy Paddys off. And it turns out, their second most popular search term is for small penis humiliation.

We’ve definitely met some size queens in Dublin, but they weren’t clucking for a 3-incher.

SPH was out-searched by the term ‘Irish’; only in Ireland would those feckers be sexually WILD enough to wank over themselves before anything else.

Despite the term, small penis humiliation isn’t actually less about the size of a man’s junk, and more about the reprimands for not measuring up (literally). According to ManyVids:

“It’s more about the desire to experience humiliation and deriving pleasure in the act of being told one’s penis is inadequate and won’t satisfy their mate”. But if you’ve got a 10-inch schlong, how serious could you actually take them?

They continue, “Men are shamed for their wee willies, enjoying the erotic experience of being verbally humiliated and their sexual prowess undermined due to the size of their genitals, regardless of the actual size”.

I mean, if they like being humiliated so much why don’t they become part of the UK?