Five years ago, I went through a bi phase and used to sleep around with pretty much everyone that came along, including other men. This changed when I fell in love with my new partner, who is everything to me. I recently met her parents and halfway through lunch realised that I had slept with her father. I was going to propose, but when my partner and her mother were away, he told me to end it with his daughter. I’m obviously in love – shall I just ignore him, or tell my partner?

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Dear Predicament,

We’ve all been in similar situations where we’re staring at someone, thinking where do I know that bitch from? Before the repressive fog of our hoe days lifts and we’re painfully aware we’ve had their genitals in our mouth. The only difference is, of course, is that it’s often not our father-in-law.

On the plus side, it sounds like it spruced up what would have otherwise been a boring lunch. You were definitely right not to propose, her father seeing you on your knees with your ring in the air for a second time might have been a bit unsavoury.

There’s a number of reasons why her father has reacted this way, most of which are down to internalized homophobia and fear, but you can’t ignore the fact that he probably cheated on his wife at the time. Perhaps he just wants it all kept a secret. Perhaps he’s jealous that you’re giving the dong to his daughter and not him… who knows.

But if this is the first time you’ve met them and you were about to propose, it sounds like they’re barely around. How old are they? Shove them in a home, and book a cruise.

But the problem, dolls, is that while you may be “obviously” in love, would your girlfriend still be, knowing that every time she kisses you, she’s basically noshing off her dad?

You don’t really want a relationship with someone where you have to harbour a secret as big as this – cut to five years later and it’ll be eating you up like your father-in-law did that one time. Unless she’s super open-minded, really loves you, and low-key hates her parents, telling your girlfriend probably won’t end well for either of you.

So it really becomes a weigh-up, of how much you love this girl (like, do you really? Or are just proposing because you were born with the right to?) and if you’re prepared to tear apart a family – accidentally or not. As secrets like these usually come out sooner or later – unlike either of you nancys.

Ultimately, it doesn’t look promising for your proposal. I’d say fake your own death to spare her heartbreak and then blackmail the evil father.

Good luck Chuck!


This problem was taken from The Guardian.