One of the best things about being single is undoubtedly not having to splash out of gifts after Christmas and tax season. But that being said, if you want to feel a little extra loved in these colder months then Valentine’s – as we all know – has no power to say you can’t treat yourself.

And what better way to do that then with these next-level toys? Besides who needs a companion after they’ve cum?

Shatter your own world in the bedroom

Have you ever had an orgasm without the use of your hands? As men, we can all agree that it’s pretty earth-shattering. Well, the Pulse III Solo is the world’s first guybrator with pulse plate technology. We’re not sure what that means either, but according to Hot Octopuss, it “provides unique oscillations that stimulate the penis without the need for stroking, allowing the user to cum hands-free”. Fuck… count us in. If you’re sceptical, the idea is actually backed up by science! Where studies have shown that specific oscillations can make a guy jizz involuntarily.

The award-winning toy when used with lube, “becomes a revolutionary next-generation masturbator“.

Edge Yourself

Butt plugs are, like, so 90s. In this day and age, prostate massagers are far more efficient – you know, seeing as they vibrate and shit. And the Edge app-controlled mind-blower from Lovense comes with a remote that you control from your smartphone. We wonder if it’s named after the art of edging? Well, when you can flick between gentle pulsations and super-strong (with just the scroll of your thumb), we’d say so.

If you really wanna give yourself a ride to remember, hand over the remote, and all control, to a partner. Yeeehaw! 

Can you be dextrous?

We all know that gloves are currently in season, but you won’t find a pair like this in your high street department stores. Let’s just say, this Oxballs Finger Glove is more S&M than H&M. With a different texture and pattern on each of the fingers – and thumb – users are able to give themselves a variety of sensations, both internally and externally. Even both at the same time if your hand’s big enough.

Snooker yourself

This highly-recommended pack of 6 male masturbators, each with their own colour, texture and design will give a whole new meaning to chalking your queue. Titilate your tip or get your dick deep in the dome, you’ll get six sensations in one pack! And it’s reduced from £65 to less than £20! Grab ’em while they’re still there.

Become the Perfect Vers

Are you a top that’d like to take it? Or a bottom that’s keen to bang from behind? This is the perfect toy for you. The Pipedream Xtreme comes with both an XL dildo and realistic ass masturbator; so you can become the ultimate flip-fucker. We might have to add on some lube with this order…