In the last couple of days, former gay escort Dominic Hilton detailed how a year-long abstinence allegedly turned him straight. At least that’s what he told the tabloids before we uncovered the photos of him in a jockstrap, chains and handcuffs that he’d intended to wear to gay club night Sugarboy in Manchester last month.

Hilton was quick to express his outrage at us over Facebook messenger, threatening legal action over the wording of our title: Now “Straight” Ex-Escort Wore Studded Jockstrap to Attend Gay Club Night Two WEEKS Ago”, because he didn’t physically ‘attend’.

He wrote: “if this is not taken down myself and PR agent will be taking this further”. Oh, she’s got a PR agent already. Ain’t that funny?

The exchange continued until we agreed to remove the word “attend”. But what was evident in his passive-aggressive demands, was that he didn’t once reason why he sent a photo of himself in a jockstrap to a gay event page, when he’s now apparently straight. It doesn’t matter if you actually attended, sis – the behaviour and intention is not reflective of a heterosexual person: so you’ve lied.

Lies that come with consequences.

Well, yes, we would treat it differently. Perhaps because straight men and boys aren’t tortured to make them gay, but gay boys and men are tortured to make them straight. Also, people who come out later in life don’t often sell their story to The Mirror. And they don’t have PR agents when they’re not a celebrity.

Clearly, Hilton is blissfully ignorant of the sheer gravitas in what implying someone can go from gay to straight does. We wonder how many right-wing parents saw his story and will now be convinced that they can “beat the gay away” from their son. How many Christians will use his tale as an excuse to push their helpless children into conversion therapy?

Perhaps that’s something he’ll think about while his shameless privileged-ass gets tickled at queer parties thrown by the community he turned his back on for attention. Then again, perhaps not.

Just to clarify: no about of beating, torturturing or indeed celibacy will turn a gay man straight. As is evident by Hilton’s desire to attend Sugarboys with his batty crease out: