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Fagony Aunt: I Slept with my Straight Flatmate, and now he Won’t Look at Me

I am the guy who did the stupid thing from a hundred overheated online stories: I slept with my straight roommate when we were both drunk. I am the only gay guy (seemingly!) in a shared house of five guys, and this was very much unplanned.

I was totally fine with it, and he acted like he was too, but it’s clear he’s not. A month later, I now hear him having loud sex with women regularly, which I definitely never heard before. He’s not hostile, but he won’t really look me in the eye either.

The other roommates have asked me if I’ve noticed him acting strangely. Is it wise to bring this up with him, or should I just let it go? Again, I know I am dumd.

[RELATED: My Boyfriend won’t give me head – Should I end It?]

Dear dumb,

I would argue that what you did wasn’t actually “dumb” at all, but rather exactly what 90% of red-blooded gay men would have done. Girl, you can’t have all that temptation up in one room and not do anything about it. It’s like spitting in the devil’s face. (And we’d all much rather you spat in the face of Evangelical Christians).

Although you say it was unplanned, we all know that you moved into this fraternity pad, with a six-pack in hand, just waiting to find the one that’d give in after his fourth Bud. So be careful what you wish for. Its equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking that gay shame has led him to overcompensate in his relationships with women, and also reaffirm his toxic masculinity. But what can you do? Buy earplugs, or put a glass to the wall – whichever floats your canoe more.

The fact that your other roomies have clocked that he’s behaving normally suggests that your bumping of uglies has had a notable effect on him. And so, while it’s often best to leave sexually confused men to their devices – especially if they’re flaunting their freshly-found fanny in your face – you also perhaps have the chance to help someone in the closet.

Write him a note and post it under his door (old school!) or send him a text, outlining that the tension in the house makes you wanna kill yourself, and that you’d like everything to go back to how they were before, while also letting him know you’re always there if he wants to open up. (Emotionally, not rectally). And then sign off with an eggplant emoji and a winky face.

He’ll either gradually come out the closet after banging you in secret occasionally for several months, or it’ll be all forgotten. Viola.

Peace out, A-town xoxo

This problem first appeared on Slate.

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