Is your reasoning for being single that you just don’t meet anyone that you find attractive? Or you feel that you don’t meet guys who are up to your standards for a relationship? (Although, of course, they’re perfectly fine to fuck).
Well, this could be more of a psychological trap, than anything.
Think about when you log into Netflix and start browsing for something to watch. We mindlessly scroll through a huge platform with thousands of options, searching endlessly, because we’re not in the mood for this, and not in the mood for that. We just can’t seem to find that ‘perfect’ movie or show to satisfy us.
But all we’re really judging the programs on, are a cover image and tiny blurb. Sometimes a 3-minute preview. While instantly trashing almost every one that crosses our path. Sounds a lot like dating apps, don’t you think? We call this the Netflix Reflex.
Where we’ve not only become so accustomed to having endless options that we struggle to pick just one, but also, that because we have so many options, we believe that there has to be something or someone better suited to us than the last.
But believing that we will instantly know what is right for us, before even investing a sliver of our time, is already naive.
Dating expert Matthew Hussey believes that we need to be “less superficial, less transactional, and less judgy on first sight”, whether someone is our ‘type’ or ‘relationship material’.
And the thing is, that once we settle on something to watch, we’re often pleasantly surprised. So, it makes sense for us to apply to the same concept to dating: we can’t ever really be surprised by a guy if we’re not interested in him as a person, to begin with.
The more interest we show, the more interesting things we find.