THIS guy allegedly spent £20,000 on surgery to look like his idol. No, no, it’s not Jonah Hill. Nor is it Sam Smith before he got skinny. Nope. This guy forked out the dollar to look like David Beckham. Or, at least the taxpayers did. But I MEAANN, does he have dyslexia? ‘Cause man’s out here looking like David Brent, not David Beckham.

Jack Johnson admitted he lied about spending £20k to look like Becks (no shit), to get on This Morning, as he wanted to be famous. Must’ve been a dud womb that squeezed this one out.

Although Johnson seems to have missed one rung on the ladder to fame: likability. Seeming hell-bent on having the world hate him (not hard, considering we were half-way there), Johnson has taken to social media to brag about his “champagne lifestyle”, funded for by taxpayers.

https://twitter.com/MrJackBeckham/status/889849517922824192

CHAMPAGNE?! You mean your Cava lifestyle? See what happens when all you eat is Big Macs? You lose your taste buds. Johnson milks approximately £1800 of taxpayers money each month, and albeit a healthy wage for a (Victoria) sponge, he still can’t afford surgery in a first world country…

“I’m going to Poland soon to have work done to my face to look like him and taxpayers will be paying for it,” he told The Sun online. Hopefully the backstreet nurse will get a little over-excited with the anesthesia. “Taxpayers are paying for my champagne lifestyle and will continue to pay because I have got depression.

 “I was diagnosed with a very mild case of it, but depression is depression.

“Why should I work when you can have David Beckham’s lifestyle by just staying home?” HMM, David Beckham’s lifestyle? Might wanna fact-check that one, hun. He flies private jet, you fly Easy Jet.

There will always be lazy cunts of the world that want something for nothing. Johnson has told how he plans to get trained as a professional footballer next year. REALLY, QUEEN?! The only time he’s ever run is when it’s 10.58am and McDonald’s breakfast about to end. Becoming a pro footballer takes years of practice, talent and dedication; all ingredients that Johnson clearly doesn’t possess.

Secondly, do you really think a team would have TWO Beckhams on the pitch when you look so alike? Could you even imagine how confusing that would be?

Although this is after his planned gastric band. Because the freeloading fattie needs it. He’s even bought a horse box. As if the one form of exercise you’ve chosen is still sitting down.