Most of you have heard of the designer vagina (opted for by the likes of TOWIE’s sophisticated Gemma Collins), but now one Manhattan-based surgeon is doing the same for the gashes of gays.
Dr. Evan Goldstein is pioneering a new surgical trend dubbed anal rejuvenation; aka, beautifying your butthole. Goldstein works with tightening, loosening procedures and botox. Although we’re still struggling to grasp who’s ass is wrinkly enough for booty botox?!
“Sometimes people come with really bad booties,” said the doctor. Sounds totes professional. He went on to tell Moneyish that he was inspired to start the business as although other surgeons could help with hemarroids and cancer, they “were not looking at the anus as cosmetic or sexually functional.” Idiots.
Goldstein works with minor procedures, like skin tags and hemorroids, as well as botox and tightening the tooshie. Procedures range from $5,000 to $25,000 depending on how mash-up your pom-pom is.
One patient spills: “I had sex with my husband, and it’s like, ’Wow! I’m 20 years younger,’” he added. “This is not a stretched-out ass. It’s back to how it was when he met me 13 years ago.” GOALS.
Tom who forked out seventy grand, says it was totally worth the bar after the piece of mind he gets from his sassy new sphincter. “It sounds crazy. People laugh, and they ask, ’Does your butthole look younger now?’” he said. “It probably does! But seriously, I identify with my sexuality very strongly, and I couldn’t receive anal sex for seven years. That was a big issue for me.”
“It was a victory,” he continued. “[Guys are] like, ’Wow, you have a beautiful butthole,’ which [makes] me feel so good. This is all I wanted, from the beginning—for this tiny little thing to look beautiful.”
What y’all sayin’?