Ellen is doing God’s work again. Getting celebs to divulge their secrets, while earning up to $10,000 for a charity of their choice. And people say that lesbians are mean. In the latest segment on her talk show, Celebrity Confessions, Ellen welcomed Colin Farrell to spill the beans.

Farrell talks about working on his first ever sex scene, and honestly the best bit, is the TWINGE in Ellen’s face when he says “retro bush”. She’s either shitting her knickers about explicit the story is gonna get, or it was just her instinctual wince at the mere thought of a man’s bits.

Find out how things went ‘down’ for Colin here:

A similar thing happened to me once, I went for a sack and crack wax, and she took far too much hair off the sides; my dick looked like the Fresh Prince.

And I actually paid to have that done to me… Winning.

Talking of phallic horror stories, Russel Tovey took to social media to share his. The 35 year-old Looking actor revealed on Twitter that he once sprayed aftershave onto the head of his knob. Rookie error. But we can’t help but wonder… How bad did it smell in the first place? Not that we’d kick him out of bed for having a cheese cracker cock, anyway mind.