“Is your butt a crudely built bird house?” Then why are you sanding it with toilet paper? Enter: Dude Wipes, the intimate “dude-sized” towelette to smoothly keep your bot in tip-top condition.

Although the product is marketed by straight men, we think there’s a huge gay market for them. So next time you’re heading back to a guys place and are feeling a little uneasy about, how can we put this delicately, giving him the shit end of the stick – pop into the bathroom and get out your douche rags. OK, so it may not be a DIY colonic with your shower head, but it’s better than nothing. And they’re flushable too!

But their portability isn’t the only pitch: “Don’t be a dick to your ass.” Research has shown that all that rough wiping, leaves your dangling out your hoop like an oven glove. J/k.

The wipes are made with aloe and Vitamin E and some of the proceeds go to colon cancer charities.

[H/t: NNN]