According to the New York Times, the relationship between straight and gay men is on the rise. And no, we’re not referring to the ‘rise’ that occurs when bro-jobs happen. The term bromosexual refers to a purely platonic friendship between two men; one who is gay, and one who is straight.
The NYT mention the increasing amount of pop culture where the bromosexual relationship is commonplace, most notably Nick Jonas in Scream Queens, but also between Austin Armacost and James Hill on Celebrity Big Brother.
The reasoning behind these types of friendship, range from men so comfortable in their own sexuality and so liberal in their political stance, that they have in fact moved well past homophobia, or any inkling of such – although some suggest (perhaps those clinging onto the straight/gay fantasy) that bromosexual emerges from a closeted gay man being so far in denial that he builds a friendship with other men like his subconscious self. Deep, girl.
Author Olie explains, “With heterosexual male friends, sometimes a subject comes up that will require a particular allegiance to what guys are expected to say and do. That can feel blustery and false. It’s nice not to have to listen to a chorus of people who feel compelled to act the same way,”
In a nutshell, not all straight men are bursting at the brim with bravado and many find the monotonous conversation revolving around ‘rug-munching’ and ‘banging broads’ hard work. Not because they’re secretly gay, but perhaps they just have more to say for themselves aside from which chick’s lips they spread the night before. It’s called personality.
And apparently we get ‘validation’ from them. Eye roll. “The intense fear of losing those masculine friendships we have had,” says Vin Testa, and LGBT liason for public schools. Hmm… Not sure it’s as deep-rooted as that, perhaps people occasionally opt for a conversation with someone that isn’t as involved with the same scene. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes the outsider perspective is more valued than “YASSS QUEEN!”
Although, if we’re having bromosexual friendships – there are downfalls too. Apparently straight men get jealous because we can go out and hoe, and while they just want to do the same thing, they have to bide their time with dinners and dates and fake interest. How funny that all the gays are moaning about having sex so accessible and how we’ve lost romance, and all the straight guys just wanna go out and fuck. Compromise?
While they report that gay men are throwing hissy fits about body-shaming. As straight men can pile on the pounds without a word said, but gay men murder each other for being a little chubby.Hmm, perhaps if you’re obese? But people who are physically fit don’t experience body-shaming so it’s not something that can be type-cast to all gay men. If anything, the issue in the friendship with the gay men is that they develop feelings for their heterosexual friend.
OUR ADVICE: Go forth with the bromosexual friendship, just remember that unless he hits on you, that’s probably all it is. And don’t shove your Grindr meets in his face, it’s like somebody telling you about their mind-blowing orgasm when you’re in the middle of a dry spell.
[H/t: Gaily Grind]