Olympic divers Jack Laugher and Chris Mears are in the studio for journalist and gossip personality Dan Wootton’s Facebook feed. Although Dan Wootton isn’t there, it’s left the pair a series of challenges/games to them – and more importantly, us – entertained. The first game sees if the pair present matching answers to the same question about themselves, to see how “in-sync” they are. We know a good game to see how in sync you are: it’s called circle jerking.
The Qs carry plenty of underlying connotations, which we totes read into for you.
Who is the biggest party animal? = Who takes the most drugs?
Who is the bigger Exhibitionist? = Who’s more likely to get their cock on Snapchat for ‘bants’
Who is the messiest? = Who has the biggest cumshot
Dan Wootton, we see you.
Then there’s a game of guess the bulge/butt; which actually works much better with lots of alcohol, a dash of rohypnol and real life groping instead of prompt cards.
Without a host, it’s fair to say that the organisational skills of this viral video were relatively weak. Where’s the intern to explain how it’s meant to go down? Also the natural flow of conversation is drier than eczema. But if you hate your job, then here’s 15 minutes of vanilla straight boys, vaguely gay-baiting. Can someone script the porno already, what’s taking so long?