Another day, another MP caught up in a scandal; which is obviously the best (and only interesting) thing about politics. Keith Vaz, a politician of the Labour Party, was apparently hiding in his closet with his skeletons, and unable to cook up an excuse for his purchase of a mortgage-free flat just minutes from his home with his wife and kids. And it’s said that the flat in known for orgies with rent boys. Yeah, even a politician is gonna have trouble dressing that one up in glitter.

Most women seethe when he spends that month’s wages down the local, but could imagine, “honey, I’ve dropped nearly half a million quid on a shag pad for gay escorts – oh and by the way, I think you should get tested”. That’s gonna go down a shit sandwich, for sure.

After being unable to explain the extravagant expenditure, following a string of slightly-odd excuses about borrowing the money from a friend (because who doesn’t have a friend with 400,000 smackers to lend us for a not-so secret sex pen?), Vaz has resigned from his role as chairman.

Party leader Jeremy Corbyn said: ‘Well, he hasn’t committed any crime that I know of. As far as I’m aware it is a private matter, and I will obviously be talking to Keith.’ before urging him to step-down. Well, we can only trust that Corbyn has no tracks to cover himself…