Beyoncé created the most talked about song, video and message in a long time. Sparking a worldwide debate about Black Empowerment and police brutality. Then along comes Bryan Hawn to lay a dump all over it. Literally, looks like he’s preparing to dump throughout most of the video.

We have no doubt that Hawn is fully aware of the message, and the target audience of the song, but decided that because he has so much swag, it would be OK for him to post his rendition. I mean, did you see those gun fingers? So ghetto I actually flinched. Supporting the black community and throwing loads of attitude to the US police, as he lies on the bed, coyly twirling his dog tags (?!), waiting for his Grindr meet to push the door open.

OH, it’s because she says “khaki fresh”… He’s wearing khaki, and dog tags… Deep. And his camo is blue. Well, we all know they don’t sell them in the shops anymore so he must’ve had them especially made by a designer; our money’s on D&G.

Then as the beat drops, he kills the Vauxhall two-step like a muscle mary that’s only being kept awake by their last shot. While dry-humping the bed, with his buttocks fully exposed, he mimes along to chorus; what formation is he singing about? The only thing that needs to come together are his cheeks.

Following that, he’s in a thong in the shower. Can you imagine Bey’s face?


Before emerging as a stripper cop, carrying himself with dignity and grace as he twirls a pair of handcuffs, which is by no means a slap in the face to people opposing police brutality. I mean, just speechless. One final question though hun, who did your lips they’re amazing?