A response to Barrett Pall’s GURL PLEASE: Are we fighting a stereotype or perpetuating one?

Dear Sister,

Firstly, why do you feel so strongly about being stereotyped? Why is being a stereotype a bad thing, if beyond that, you are a good person? Who, above all, is being themselves? As you plan on writing a book (lol) and understand how “powerful” language is, I assume that you read your article over and over again before posting it, and have considered the weight of your words. And while you’ve attempted to say them as politely as possible, (including the obligatory meaningless ‘I love to make bold statements, but please don’t troll me’ update), I’m sure you know full well that what you are inferring is that gay men behave in a way that may be unnatural to them, so as ignorant-minded people don’t stereotype us. Let’s not act a certain way so that bullies don’t laugh at us? Why don’t we all just step back into the closet? I’d rather they kicked my head in while I slayed the routine to Britney’s Stronger.

If you want to start something progressive, as you claim, then attacking the colourful language used by your fellow gay men is not the way to go. The best thing we can do, is to encourage gay men to be who they are – stereotypes included – and drown out the homophobes, the uneducated bullies and prove that gay people are equal, no matter how they speak. In your concerns that we are not representing our “diverse community” properly, you’re asking that we conform to traditional ideals and ‘proper’ language; where is the diversity in that?
You’re right though, we’re not sisters – or brothers – so why don’t we all stop acting like it, and leave one another to fend for themselves? What exactly is the problem with brotherhood, when it only brings positivity into our society?

It’s ironic, of course, that you believe that our slang doesn’t represent a, “smart, ambitious and successful” community, when your opinion piece doesn’t represent a single one of those things. In fact, you’re quite the stereotype yourself. The stereotype of what you appear to dislike; an attention-seeking gay man. Just in a far more brazen form that even you realise. If it is being stereotyped and taken seriously that you are worried about, why don’t you a) tackle something other than harmless slang, and/or b) put a fucking shirt on?
Has nobody told you that people with trout pouts shouldn’t throw stones? I mean, don’t you model jockstraps with bleached teeth and a quiff as high as that horse you’re riding; and you wanna run your gums about stereotypes? Hun. You might as well be spraying this bullshit from a go-go podium in West Hollywood.

But regardless, banter aside, I wouldn’t hate on you for that. If you wanna show off a body that you worked hard to get, then good for you! But you do perpetuate a stereotype – it just doesn’t bother anyone as much as it allegedly bothers you. Which would suggest that your issues aren’t with stereotypes at all, but rather with femininity. Slang terms like “gurl/sister/she” are only the tip of a very camp and stereotypical iceberg floating in the sea of the gay community – so how do you feel about mannerisms? Clothing? Pop music? Are you against everything that could cast us in a stereotypical light to the wrong person, or is it just language?

Baring in mind, that many gay men use this language as form of expression; it represents happiness and gratitude – to be able to act a certain way in public and not be judged because of it – well, unless you’re in the room.

I understand that you’re not that (if at all) fabulous, but your blog post is insulting to those of us that are. HEY, GURL. It’s hard to see why you are hating on terms of endearment when there is still so much hate left in the world? Your personal problems with effeminate slang does not require an article, you will not start a movement, you are the one who needs to open their eyes and realise that what you are saying isn’t progressive at all. Rather than asking the gay world to change, perhaps you should be teaching yourself to accept.

Even the notion of ‘stereotypes’ existing is an old one. I may use them in a humorous way from time-to-time, but in the real world, I don’t see stereotypes, I see people. The fact that you are worried about being seen in a certain light only demonstrates that you still have some catching up to do. The issues which you have raised have absolutely nothing to do with other gays and their language, but rather yourself and this Masc 4 Masc fantasy, along with parts of the world that still don’t fully embrace homosexuality; so I suggest you start there.

Finally, that symbol of a heart you are making with you hands, represents love – reread your post and ask yourself how loving it is to criticise gay men for being themselves?


Anthony Gilét
(VERY fabulous gay)

You can see the original post it HERE