Nothing beats a deep tissue massage after a stressful week, but one masseur in Pennsylvania got a little too hands-on with his approach. Christopher Atanazy works at a spa called Kneading Hands (please, girl was clearly needing the D), when an 18 year-old lad came in to get rubbed down… Not rubbed off.

The kid asked that Christopher focus primarily on his legs, but he must’ve interpreted that to include his third leg when his talons went a wandering up the customer’s thigh. And then, GET THIS, just pulls out the boy’s junk from his boxer shorts. Just like that. No qualms. As casual as a hand shake. The victim tells police he froze, “shock, scared and had no idea what to do”. So he waited until he came, and then left. Just kidding. But he did wait until the guy began performing oral sex before he pulled away.

It seems a little off that an 18 year-old didn’t know what to do when someone had his dick in their hand… Everybody knows you grab the back of their head and thrust it down their throat. Perhaps, it was just the pure audacity of this 39 year-old letch groping him. Sure, it’s regular thing round West Hollywood, but maybe that shit’s rare in the state of PA. But why wait until it’s in his mouth, surely you know where he’s going with this…

The boy then dialled up his ‘rents and the feds. Report reads: Victim “didn’t want this to happen and never gave permission” for the masseur to touch him intimately. While Atanazy admitted sexual assault, this was withdrawn in favour of charges of open lewdness and simple assault. Firstly, as if ‘open lewdness’ is actually a thing, and there’s still bath houses open for business. Secondly, something doesn’t quite piece together about all of this.

SO, the boy froze long enough for the perv to maneuver his genitals from palm to mouth, and then the sexual assault charges are withdrew. I don’t doubt that this boy was wrongly felt up, but I reckon he totally got a semi when the guy rubbed his thighs. Sexual assault charges were withdrawn so that his traditional parents and/or their horrific friends didn’t find out.

Atanazy’s working days as a masseur disappeared quicker than that grin on his face when the po-po turned up at his parlour. He was also ordered to pay $500 fine and to take a random drug test. Because if you touch men in Pennsylvania you must be high.

[H/T: Queerty]