wankband

OMG, don’t you hate when you’re bar-hopping and you lose battery? Absolute LIFE RUINER. Like, how am I supposed to arrange a drunken booty call without my phone? How am I gonna Shazam that hot track that I’ve got no IDEA who sings, and am way too wasted to remember the lyrics? How we gonna selfie it up? Answer: You ain’t! Well, not unless you pop to the bathroom for a five knuckle shuffle. Or if you’re in Comptons, just go to the urinals.

From PornHub, the new wrist wear contains a valve that stores energy when moved up and rhythmically. Who’d have thought that masturbation would soon be collaborating with technology. Welcome to 2015.

[H/T: Lad Bible]