WORDS BY: Anthony Gilét

You know those butterflies you get when a guy you’re really attracted to you is flirting back and you’re more or less certain that it’s on the cards? “It” being his genitals, obviously. Well, you know when after a night of drinking you finally end up taking off each others clothes and you think ‘Yes bruv! This is it!’ And then you know when everything you hoped for just comes tumbling down like a Down Syndrome child trying to ice skate?

If things are never taken any further then it remains a question we will never know the answer to; but did the nerves get the better of me/us? Or was the sex just plain old terrible?

And then, the proceeding questions; is the first time always awkward when two people barely know each other? Especially gay men when pleasurable sex is so complicated. Or should there be chemistry instantly and if it’s something that needs to be worked on it’s a waste of time? The honest answer is that it will be different with each person, but the one almighty question that stands out above all others in this post, is are you willing to put the put the work in to fireworks?

If you love every aspect about a person but then the sex doesn’t mount up to much, you feel more disappointed than Taylor Swift at the Grammys.


It quite literally becomes the biggest anti-climax since the entire last season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And it really does knock you for six. Personally I always think it’s worth a second chance if you like them – as a person with lots of traits you desire is hard to come by, why would you dash them out over one false start?

And in my personal experience, the ones I’ve really liked before have never really been fireworks first time round. Actually, they’ve mostly flopped. Whether that’s because the expectations and hopes have been too high or because the pressure was too much – again – who knows. Admittedly, if sex is the first obstacle instead of, say, bad choice in footwear – it makes the first jump a lot higher, but if you write people off at the first hurdle, you only narrow that window of finding The One. And if everything else is good so far, it just doesn’t make logical sense. Right?

And you know if ever in doubt, just live life by the mantras of Samantha Jones…


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