WORDS: Anthony Gilét

London, unlike holiday destinations (such as Barcelona, Tel Aviv, Gran Canaria, etc) tends to attract people only for it’s celebrations over the weekend, but if you thought London Pride was only a Saturday/Sunday affair, you were wrong. There’s plenty to do around the city all week, here’s our pick…

Bathhouse: The Musical!
Above the Stag, Miles Street, Vauxhall, SW8 1RZ
Until July 20th
£18, BOOK HERE: abovethestag.com

Do you remember when you were naive enough to think that you might meet your husband in Pleasuredrome? Lol. Yeah, us too. Well Bathhouse: The Musical brings you the story of young Billy who’s looking for love, while the other sauna-goers are just looking for love juice. Oh, and add to that naked blokes breaking out into song, and we can see why it’s selling out quickly!

Bar Wotever: Word Power
Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 349 Kennington Lane, Vauxhall, SE11 5HY
Tuesday 24th, 7pm – 11pm
£5. EVENT PAGE HERE.

This may not be up everybody’s street, but for those people that are interested in things to do other than party and can appreciate the beauty and language and talent of poetry, then this is definitely worth a look. If you’re a creative type yourself, you may find you leave inspired!

MiSFiTs: #LEMONADE
East Bloc, 217 City Road, Shoreditch EC1V 1JN
Wednesday 25th, 11pm
£5

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikx4jPjIewE&w=560&h=315]

Returning for another week of eccentric midweek madness, the theme of this week’s Misfits is ‘Lemonade’ in aid of Danity Kane’s reunion. We recommend playing it on full blast, tying a shirt around your waist and getting popping in front of that mirror for practise. Then unleash that shit on the thirsty bitches hating on y’all.

Eastend Cabaret at Wonderground
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Thursday 26th, 9.30pm
£16.50, BOOK HERE

They’ve won a number of awards for their hilarious duo act, and now the pair return to cause more havoc at Southbank’s Wonderground fair. Bernadette Byrne and Victor Victoria bring you a plethora of naughty songs that only these two filthy, funny and ferocious would dare to.

GRAVITY
Lightbox, Vauxhall, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP
Friday 27th, 2am
£8, £5 concession.
Contact Anthony Gilét for guestlist. Or email: [email protected]

Everyone gets that build up of anticipation a few days before a big weekend, and seen as you won’t be doing much work on the Friday anyway, you might as well warm up those pelvis by having a skank out Thursday night… It’s what Jesus would do… (apparently!) We’ll be hosting – so get in touch if you want guestlist.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Clapham Picturehouse, 76 Venn Street, Clapham, SW4 0AT
Friday 27th, 10pm – 2am
£12, BOOK HERE

We love a midnight screening, they’re so American and retro. Well in light of Pride week, Myra Dubois will be hosting a screening of old favourite Rocky Horror Picture Show; you’ll feel like you’re in that scene from Perks of Being a Wallflower. Die-hard fans (or just costume-lovers) will be found dressed up, and singing along.

Trafalgar Square: Main Stage
WC2N 6DN
Saturday 28th, Midday
Free

Trafalgar Square was the original hangout for London Pride, before things began veering off to Soho Square and eventually all over the fucking place. Well, if it’s been years since that’s what you’ve done, we can inform you – it does still happen. The main stage will see Conchita Wurst, Sinitta (I know, really?), Sink the Pink, Drag Queens of London, La Voix, Samantha Fox and Heather Peace.

WE Party: Kiss Me Tiger
The Coronet, 28 New Kent Road, Elephant & Castle, SE1 6TJ
Saturday 28th, 10pm
£18, BOOK HERE

Catch a taster of the wild WE vibes from Comptons (xx Old Compton Street) this year, where big-named DJs get you warmed up before the main event. Naturally, the party spills out onto the street; as it does with every bar in a half mile radius. Then throw on some leopard print and bling (you wanna look like the lovechild of Bette Lynch and a washed-up porn star), and head to the main event at the massive coronet! If you’re stuck for outfit ideas, take a leaf out of Zoo Project Ibiza.

Beyond: Pride Special
Fire, 39 Parry Street, Vauxhall, SW8
Sunday 29th, 4am
£15, BOOK HERE

Another Pride special that looks set to be busier than one of Katy Perry’s red carpet ensembles. You won’t catch the glitter-throwing trashy fun that you would at, say, Sink the Pink, but if topless Muscle Mary’s and a whole lot of sweating dancing if your thing (who’s isn’t?) then you won’t be disappointed…

Pride Picnic In The Park
Sunday 29th, Midday
Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, SE11 5HY

Starting at midday on the Sunday following Pride, we’re gonna assume there will be a few cracked out bitches – but you’ll get that anywhere so don’t let it deter you – as despite being held on the trashiest bit of greenery in London, Pride Picnic is advertised as a family day where you’ll find face painting, choir singing and a bake off. So if you’re looking for an after party – perhaps the Hills isn’t the place.

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>> A Virgin’s Guide To Gran Canaria Pride
>> The Ultimate Map of Soho
>> DATING TALES: Hot Vauxhall Mess