Unfortunately not all men are born with Gosling good looks or a Beckham buff body, but believe it or not there are a few ways you can cheat your way to attractiveness – and we’re not talking about being smart or funny, we’re talking about things you can buy… albeit some more extravagant than others.
1. White Vans
Don’t get me wrong, when you see a ‘lad’ driving a white van, you don’t automatically think ‘husband material’, but but there’s always the fantasy that you’re gonna be thrown around in the back of his van amongst all the construction shit or whatever they have back there. Maybe that’s what makes him sexy – even when he’s not that hot. You usually jump to the conclusion that he’s a little rough around the edges, and that’s always a turn on.
2. Grey Tracksuit Bottoms
This one is more just a matter of fact, than it is a matter of opinion. It could be the VPL (visible penis line) or it could be the fact that he looks like he works out (even if he’s not buff) or maybe just the way the waistband sits on his hips, but the automatic reaction to tracksuit bottoms is to whip them off and throw ’em on the floor!
YES. The fabric, the sense of power, the connotations to money, the idea of authority, forbidden lust in the workplace. The list of things that make men in suits horny is endless. And if you’re not getting bent over the photocopier at your 9 to 5, or throwing the intern down on the desk on press day – MenAtPlay tends to suffice (as much as videos can replace real life experiences anyway).
It might be the fact that everyone knows they hurt that tend to give a man a more masculine look – providing he hasn’t got a ribbon inked on his lower back, or a butterfly on his pelvis.
5. Ability to Sing
Even if you’re not physically attracted to a guy, if he can serenade you, there something totally cool about that. Fair enough, it would probably only be short-lived if the only place you can be seen in public with him is karaoke bars (as he’s too ugly to take anywhere remotely more trendy, and the only time you can bare to listen to him is while he’s belting out a love song) but for those four and half minutes of your favourite Lighthouse Family song, it’s so worth it.
Accents are always a winner. Whether he’s from the Republic of Ireland, Newcastle or Southend, a little twang goes a long way. Although that’s not to say if you’ve got a bog standard dialect that you should start doing your best impression of Colin Farrell. As chances are when you start speaking in Welsh/Indian/Jamaican, he’s gonna think that you mixed up your medication.
It’s a bit of cliché to say that “men, like a fine wine get better with age” – it’s also untrue. Wine doesn’t have a sell-by date, men do. Wine will just keep getting more desirable forever, this idea tends to start working backwards when a man hits a certain age. It depends on each individual as to when this age is, but sure enough it comes. But before that, as young men grow into their looks and bodies – it’s a totally hot process. So perhaps the saying should be, “men, like cheese get better with age – until there comes a certain point when they don’t taste good anymore.”