Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black Announce They’re Having a Bottom

While many were celebrating Valentine’s with their significant other, Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black announced they were welcoming a newbie; and we don’t mean in a three-way.

An Instagram account leaked a pic of the happy couple cosied-up together, holding up a snap of what would traditionally be a sonogram photo, but thanks to developments in modern technology, was a far more advanced (21 years, in fact) depiction of how their baby may look when it’s all grown.

The new program – which uses the same intricate recognition technology as Facebook quizzes that tell you what you’ll look like as the opposite sex, and how many dumps you’ll take today – takes characteristics from both future parents to compile a 99.8% accurate glimpse of the offspring up to 25 years down the line.

Here’s Kylie Jenner’s sonogram:

Dr. Fashnu of Bag Egg Insemination Clinic, said “Soon-to-be parents are also provided with information about toxic behaviours, bad fashion choices and special skills they may inherit from their parents.

“In this case, Daley and Black’s could grow up to master the technique of – what behavioural experts call – ‘Door on the latch’.”

Dustin, an award-winning director, is alleged to have gushed: “Tom, he looks just like you!” when they were blessed with the news! Congratulations!

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