People Magazine Name Blake Shelton Sexiest Man Alive, Because Apparently it's April 1st

People Magazine’s Sexiest Man/Woman annual has been running for 29 years, and is a relatively respected title to snag – in the world of gossip media. Former crown-wearers include Channing Tatum, George Clooney, Ben Affleck, Ryan Reynolds, and Matt Damon. (In fact, it should be noted that there hasn’t been a black winner in 21 YEARS! Since Denzel Washington in ’96).

And then there’s Blake Shelton. You know, married to Gwen Stefani, coach on the voice, once tweeted Islamophobia, and his “sick” fantasy about a 16 year-old Dakota Fanning. Cool move, People. Not only that… But he’s hardly in the same league as any of the men just mentioned.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d probably suck his dick, but if he was in a room with Jude Law, David Beckham, and Brad Pitt, you don’t have to have a degree to guess who’s dick is getting sucked last.

Rules are enforced at the workplace for a reason. And clearly somebody at the People publication, disobeyed the ‘no drugs’ rule, and thought it’d be fun to get off their tits on mushrooms one lunch time.

Surely. It’s the only explanation for this. Well, that an April Fool’s. But it’s November. Unless that nap I took lasted five months.

Anyway, umm, congrats!

AND if you’d like to see Blake getting noshed off in a car, we have that too!

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