Are you a single pringle? Well, you may be better off hitting the Pringles tub instead, a new study claims. The new research which was presented at the 125th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Associationinforms that being a bachelor (or spinster) not only presents a greater danger than becoming dickpressed (depression one suffers from a distinct lack of vitamin D), but leads to social isolation and loneliness that is feared worse than obesity.

HMM, no shade – but if you’re obese aren’t you more likely to be single anyway?

“Being connected to others socially is widely considered a fundamental human need — crucial to both well-being and survival. Extreme examples show infants in custodial care who lack human contact fail to thrive and often die, and indeed, social isolation or solitary confinement has been used as a form of punishment,” said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, professor of psychology at Brigham Young University.

“Yet an increasing portion of the U.S. population now experiences isolation regularly.”

As if we’ve been gradually dying inside all these years without a man and we could’ve been on the sofa with Ben & Jerry’s getting fat and living longer.

Researchers went on to suggest that if you’ve got shit social skills, or no friends/boyfriend, you’re 50% more likely to die young. Approx. 42.6 million Americans over the age of 45 are suffering from chronic loneliness. I MEAANN, if we get to 45 and don’t have a husband, we’ll be getting fat regardless.

[H/t: homorazzi]