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Often when people think you’re looking for a ‘daddy’, they believe you’ve just got a thing for older guys. Often when you refer to a guy as ‘daddy’, he takes this as a comment directly toward his age. But believe it or not, there’s a number of things, boys admire about ‘daddies’, that have nothing to do with how old they are. Check out this list, compiled by the boys of London/LA club night, Daddy Issues.

He doesn’t play games

At least not MIND games, hopefully he’s still up for a few role play sessions in the bedroom/locker room/class room

2. He’ll protect you

Spider in the shower drain? Large, ominous bird on the windowsill? Phone call from the gas company? Daddy will save the day and shoo them all away.

3. He’ll support you

Big bear hugs on suicide Tuesdays, spooning you while you sob to that Buffy episode where her mum dies… it’s okay not to be okay when your Daddy is around.

He’s mature/stable

Because somebody has to be the one thinking about making sure the house doesn’t burn down while you’re attempting to live out your Nigella Lawson baking fantasy, or that you don’t get kidnapped by gangs during a luxury trip to the Thai jungle.

He has life experience

Daddy has done it all! Driving lessons will be a synch with your burly bloke by your side. Applying for a loan? Daddy will tell you the right things to say and explain how to NOT tell them you’re planning to spend it all on rib removal and Restylane.

He has sexual experience

If we wanted bumpy, awkward, silent sex on a old futon in a six-person house share, we’d be dating boys our own age, wouldn’t we? Daddy knows what his boys like and how to give it to them.

He’s secure (financially)

Now we aint saying that we’re gold diggers….but a big, fat investment portfolio comes a close second to size 15 feet in the “pro” column.

He’s hairy!

Our motto is R.D.D.D. – Real Dads DON’T Depilate. (That word means “remove hair”, babes)

Get involved with your Daddy Issues, this Saturday 12th at Beach Blanket Babylon, Shoreditch, 10.30pm

#DaddysArmy