**DISCLAIMER: This post contains a number of hot messes.
Everybody loves Gran Canaria; the island of haute couture, sophistication and saggy butts that have never done a squat in their life. Not to mention being crushed between a hundred thousand glitter-covered Katy Perry stans. Thankfully, there’s an unlimited supply of alchopops and it’s easier to catch a dick than Jiggly Puff in a game of Pokemon. The heat and the unquenchable thirst turns otherwise rational people, into crazy, brazen, messes. Here’s just a few of the times that GC had totally no chill…
Photo Credits: Brian Hackett, Lee Grounsell
- This shy couple who covered up in spite of the heat
2. This guy who deep-throated a balloon (because he had no other offers)
3. This respectable guy getting in touch with his childhood
4. This guy that was so thirsty he slurped this twink’s anal leakage
5. This Wizard of Oz spitroast — now you know why the Lion was walking around Yumbo looking like he had grillz.
6. This lad who got taken advantage of… By a pillar
7. This guy who said he loved big dicks, and then got more than he expected
8. This pencil dick… Oh no, sorry, that’s just a building in the background
9. These boys who got a bit too into the swing of things…
10. This lad who gave himself a DIY colonic… Better to be safe than skid-marked!
12. This queen who thought doing a Katie Price on an air hockey table was sexy. What a catch.
13. This guy who stole Dame Edna’s shades and Bobby from TOWIE’s swimwear:
14. RALPH LAUREN: Infamous drag queen. People go under just from her breath.
15. Is this what getting raped by ketamine looks like?
16. These guys who almost broke the internet like Kim Kardashian… We’re sure Paper magazine will be calling any day now.
17. This bloke who misread the dress code. It’s not even Christmas and the giblets are out.
18. Whatever is going on here. Who gave Elizabeth Taylor from American Horror Story a shot of G?
19. On Wednesdays we wear pink! This fashion-forward gent who flosses daily.
20. This masterpiece of an outfit; designed by Stella McCartney.
21. One too many Smirnoff Ices, hun?
22. Half-eaten plate of processed crap? Ball bag on the loose? Elegant decor? See, you can do 5* in GC, bebs.
23. This stunning drag act with unbe-weave-able locks
24. This drag queen who caught a glimpse of her outfit in a shop window:
25. This hun outside Burger King – is that her Big Whopper on show?
26. Whoever had to take a dignified moment to compose themselves… on a pool table.
27. This bad bitch
28. JUST, HIM… Defining holidays goals, girl
29. “I’m gonna swiiiiing from the chandelier…”
30. The creative queen that made an outfit from feathers and floss
31. This QUICHE ensemble… Kitten wedges available from Evans catalogue
32. This elegant ballerina – watch out for your clutch babes, someone will snatch that Versace
33. This bum/leg… Bleg?
33. This guy who looks like he needs a hand… Any volunteers?
34. This guy and his ever-so-subtle mating call:
35. This elegant female whazzing all over the Yumbo floor:
36. These two that couldn’t afford a hotel room:
38. Mutton dressed as (Silence of the) Lamb
39. Everybody in this photo
40. And finally, these guys having the best oral of their life: