Has anyone ever noticed how buff Instagram hoes are always posing with fast food. Like bitch, you never got that six pack or those v lines by eating processed shit. They’re just cotching on the sofa with £60 worth of Dominoes making perfection look like a piece of piss. No, sorry, not buying it. I reckon they totally do what I like to call a ‘bulimic back-hand’. They wave a slice of pizza in your face with one hand to distract you from seeing the one that’s down their throat. Either way, all I know is when I closed my IG, I’m hungry. Although dunno if it’s for burgers, or boy.
1. Pancakes + Nutella = Shredded. Of course it does.
2. Yeah ’cause you know that’s the only roll he’ll ever know of
3. We’re sure there’s a chubby girlfriend that took the photo
4. BRB going gym
5. Nope. Not buying it.
6. All the ingredients for the body of a God
7. Pays $20… Has one bite
8. To be divided up over the next month…
9. Dunkin Donuts sponsors V lines
10. There’s a reason the lid is still on…
11. How do you think Willy Wonka got those guns?
12. To be shared with 17 ripped friends
13. How sweet, he baked for his nephew’s birthday party
14. One for each pec
15. *Licks icing*….. *Shoots self*
16. He must be babysitting two fat kids
17. Is this how they deliver them nowdays, because I know that shredded piece of ass ain’t tucking in
18. They’re for the office… Not him
19. “This doesn’t look like the bland salad I ordered…”
20. The only thing he’s seen stacked that high are weights
21. Now that’s just fucking ridiculous…