What with Valentines just around the corner (ooh the excitement of the hot, single lads and their dwindling standards) we decided to treat yo’ asses to a mooshy message from this bipolar beauty.

From Daniel, London.

I mean you can just imagine him cooking you breakfast in bed on your day and then when the smell of bacon didn’t wake you up, setting your house on fire. Bitch, where’s your dignity? Don’t you know that if they don’t reply the first time, you pretend it never happened and move on.

Been sent something slightly unhinged? Show us:

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