25 Lists We’d Love To See BuzzFeed Do This Year

BY Anthony Gilét

After such golden gems as, ‘A Definitive Ranking Of Disney Princes By My How Much My Jewish Mother Would Approve’ and ’21 Thoughts You Have When You Watch “Titantic” For The First Time’, you might have noticed that BuzzFeed’s lists/articles have started to get a little… niche, to say the least. Everybody loves a BuzzFeed list/quiz, they’re the best time-killers at work since masturbating in the toilets lost its novelty.

Here’s 25 things we’d love to see them tackle this year…

*In no particular order

1. 21 Rhetorical Questions Teenage Bisexuals With Speech Impediments And Cleft Lips Are Tired Of Hearing

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2. 32 Things All Amish Lesbians That Wear Clogs And Shop At Tesco Metro In Haggeston Are Familiar With

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3. 17 Types Of Fasty Old Aged Pensioners Everybody Has Had An Argument With On The 176 Bus

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4. QUIZ: What type of skid mark are you?

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5. 26 Things Every One-Legged Mormon Has Experienced On The Faulty Cross-Trainer At LA Fitness In Holborn

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6. 67 Types Of Hair Clips Every Single White Female Can Use To Break In To Their Ex’s House And Prove He WAS Actually Cheating

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7. 92 Struggles Of Every Hyperactive Hermaphrodite While Walking Their Mentally Unstable Poodle Around Lambeth

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8. A Definitive Ranking Of Novelty Condom Wrappers Found In The Lost Property Box Of Union Nightclub

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9. 25 Toenails That Actually Look Like Meryl Streep If She Had Her Head Shaved

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10. QUIZ: What type of period are you?

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11. A Definitive Ranking Of My Nan’s Clothes Pegs As Chosen By My Nan While She’s High On Morphine

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12. 47 Epileptic Skanks That Wear Kitten Heels Who Everybody That Works At Tiger Tiger Croydon Has Seen Taking Toilet Selfies

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13. 16 Things Regina George Would Of Got Instead Of Cheese Fries Had She Been Lactose Intolerant

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14. The Ultimate Ranking Of Circumsized Penises Seen On ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ If They Didn’t Have Nasty Ass Diseases

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15. 33 Times You Thought About Your Second Cousin’s Best Friend Naked While Wandering Around The National Portrait Gallery On Ketamine

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16. QUIZ: What Type Of Chemotherapy Are You?

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17. 22 Black Drag Queens From Skunthorpe Who Would Put Your Style To Shame If They Had Beyoncé’s Stylist

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18. 60 Necrophiliacs That Sneezed So Hard During The Intermission Of Jersey Boys They Pulled A Muscle In Their Groin

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19. 39 Double Entendres That Secretly Arouse All Sexually Confused Introverts That Subscribe To Onion World Magazine

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20. A Definitive Ranking Of Gay Sainsbury’s Checkout Assistants Still Completely Off Their Nut From The Night Before

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21. 13 Stunning Black And White Photos Of Diabetic Cats Wearing Dishevelled Wigs And Odd Gloves Found On Stockwell High Street 

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22. 84 Outdoor Places Lonely Christian Mothers Can Clean Their Ears Without Being Insulted By Their Boss Eyed Cleaners

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23. 21 Ways Middle-Aged Barren Women Can Kidnap Their Neighbours Son And Disguise Him As One She Adopted From Syria

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24. 48 Kinds Of Side Eye All Bulimic Gingers Get From Chinese Nail Technicians When They Mention British Weather

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25. A Definitive Ranking Of Cocktails & Cocktalk’s List Of Topics They’d Love To See Us Do This Year

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Author: AnthonyGilet

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